7 reasons to take your kids to the pub

1. The lounge bar of your local pub makes an ideal substitute for the local park or children’s playground, providing plenty of space for your toddlers to let off steam, run around and make noise.

2. There’s no need to supervise your children in a pub because if they misbehave the other customers will be too polite to complain (they’ll be afraid of causing conflict.)

3. People who are at the pub in order to escape the noise and stress of their own children will get a nice warm feeling inside when they are reminded of their lovely family at home.

4. Adult drinkers love nothing more than young children running around them while they’re having a relaxing drink and a chat with their friends. It helps to create an inclusive and friendly family atmosphere.

5. Your children will get to see their parents and numerous other adults drinking alcohol (and if they’re in the garden, smoking cigarettes). This will teach them how to behave in later life, and help turn them into well-rounded, responsible adults.

6. Older drinkers particularly enjoy seeing children in pubs, as they themselves weren’t allowed into bars when they were kids. (They were forced to sit outside quietly with a Coke and a packet of crisps, while their parents enjoyed a nice quiet drink inside.)

7. Pubs are ideal places for young babies as you will never be asked to leave, no matter how long your child screams at the top of its voice or vomits. This is because the British love children and animals, particularly other people’s. Hey, why not exercise your dog at the pub as well?